It’s okay not to be okay. Part 1.
It’s okay to be okay. When I first started to notice I was feeling down I was 15. I didn’t just feel down like your having a crappy day, I felt down and I couldn’t be bothered to face the day. I felt like I didnt want anyone to see me nor me them. I didn’t want to see the sun rise or the sun set. I wasn’t feeling suicidal or depressed just down like I hadn’t felt before. I’d move on with my day though, went to school, saw my friends, got home and saw my boyfriend. To be honest I didn’t think feeling ‘down’ was an issue, so I didn’t tell anyone.
I started to wake up for school and not wanting to go, there wasn’t a reason as I had friends and I liked school. I had a supporting boyfriend but there was one thing in my brain not wanting to face the day. My parents have always been so supportive through everything, they would let me have the day off because what else could they do. They couldn’t drag me out of bed so they just had to support me and hope I felt better the next day.
Even though I still felt like this, I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone. I’ve never been good at talking to people about my true feelings. I wish I was though. A few months past, I started to miss more and more school. My friends were so supportive of this, my boyfriend was always there for me and my parents were the most understanding. I knew that the way I was feeling wasn’t how I used to feel. I felt depressed waking up in the morning, I felt so useless and I felt like I meant nothing for no reason.
I started talking to my mom but never in person, my phone was my voice, I spoke my feelings on text I have never been good as voicing my feelings so that was my escape.
My family reminded me that it’s okay not to be okay, that sometimes you don’t always know why you feel the way you do. My journey was long and tiring, but I’m here happy and healthy.
If you’d like to here more of my journey, the ups the downs, the disappointing news and the great news. Please let me know!